Dear men,
You know that thing about how deep down, all women secretly want you to pay for everything? Like dinner and movies and little gifts? We don't. It's actually awkward as shit, particularly when you decline splitting a bill or allowing us to pay you back. That sends a message to us in no uncertain terms that you think you've got a tab running and you're free to call up that debt at any time.
Well, fuck that. You want to aggressively pay for stuff? Then don't whine when a woman leaves you or decides she doesn't want to have sex with you just because you were super nice and bought her shit. Pro-tip: Just don't do it at all.
And I swear to God if any of my male friends say something like "Well maybe you don't but most girls do" I will find you, and I will shove dollar bills down your throat until you are dead.
Are we clear? I don't want to have this conversation with you guys again.
Kay, Bye!
